Love tried to welcome me, 'Guardian Angel's sequel
by JoJo1
Summary: Logan's having second thoughts. Logan POV


Archiving: WRFA, Mutual Admiration, Dolphin Haven. Anyone else, ask first please.  
Disclaimer: No, they're not mine. There's no need to rub it in you know?  
Feedback: Sure, bring it on.  
Setting: After the movie  
Authors notes: First off, title stolen from Madonna. Secondly, sorry if Fatherland gets put on hold for a while. I want to finish this series before going on with that one (whenever that is).  
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Shit, shit, shit! What have I done! This is all my fault. I will never  
forgive myself if she dies of that impact. Why did I have to push her to be so mad she'd  
drive away drunk! Because I'm a jerk, that's why!  
  
And who the fuck pushed the pause button on the remote control? Or slowed  
down time. Whatever. She's not that far away so why am I not with her already?  
My eyes tells me that I'm running but whatever brains I have is not  
cooperating. Did someone push reverse too? What's wrong with the fast-forward button?  
  
Logan, how stupid can you get? More stupid than I thought, that's fer sure.  
I've tried for so very long, and rather unsucessfully too, to harden my  
heart. Love or friendship's just not for me is what I always told myself.  
And when a beutiful girl decides she wants your friendship, what do you do?  
Love or friendship tried to welcome me but me and my stupid fuckin' issues  
decided to push her away. Way to go, moron. As if loneliness hasn't been your  
companion for far too long anyway. No, no. You convince yourself that you're a danger to her.  
  
And maybe I am. But isn't that up to both me and her to decide?  
Isn't life just more than a handful of dangers either way? What's one or two  
more?  
  
But that might just be academic if she's dead. And even if she's not, she  
might not want to ever see me again. Can't say I'd blame her. I treated her like  
dirt.  
  
  
  
Thank you! She's not dead. Only unconscious and a couple of cuts. The driver  
of that car didn't even bother to stop to see if she was okay. Can't do anything  
about that now but if I could I'd...perform some novelty surgery. In ways that would  
make the fucker rue the day he was born.  
  
But right now all that matters is that Marie's okay. Or will be if I can get  
her into some warmth at least. Lying drunk and unconscious in the gutter in the  
pouring rain like this won't do her any wonders.  
  
Okay, knowing what to do. Next thing is to do it. Get her into the warmth.  
Good thing my motelroom is in the more sleazier type of motel. No one will  
question me if I bring Marie in there. Thank God for small mercies. Two mercies since  
the motel is in walking distance from here.  
  
A few minutes later I had arrived my destination and gently put her down in  
one of the chairs momentarily while I made the bed for her. I then proceeded  
to carefully remove her jacket and boots. Very gently. I don't want to shake  
her if I can help it. She probably won't wake up from it but if she hit her head  
it might make her condition worse. Listen to me, I'm sounding like some damn  
doctor. Anyway, I tuck her into bed and hoping she won't hate me when she  
wakes up. Hoping that everything that remains in the morning is a hangover and some  
cuts that will heal eventually.  
  
I myself sits down in the chair, just looking at her. She's so beutiful it  
almost hurts. I don't know if she can ever love me, even if I hadn't been so stupid  
in the bar, or if she just wants or wanted my friendship. Either would be just  
fine with me.  
  
Maybe, just maybe, she could make loneliness more of a stranger and turn the  
winter of my heart into spring.  
  
If she still wants me around I'd be so happy. I know I don't deserve that  
but I still want it. And I still dread that I might hurt her without meaning or  
wanting to. God knows life hasn't been kind to me. The world has always seemed to hate  
me and I've always returned the favour.  
  
With a lot of luck it could be time to turn my back to the hatered. Stop  
seeing things in just black and white.  
  
It will probably take a lot of time to effort to do that but if Marie's  
willing to give me another chance I'm more willing to do just that. No matter how  
hard or long it takes.  
  
She's worth that and so much more. Everything and more. 


End file.
